Looking Back, Looking Ahead:

Remembering

As I reflect on the spring term, I am stunned by the amount of information that has been exchanged within our class. We have learned from our professor (Dr. Hilary Brown), each other, and ourselves.  I have learned to reflect openly and much more honestly and to cut the system a little slack.

So, what is it that I want to say about the learning through this personal project (5 blogs and a summary blog)?  I'm still not sure.  The most surprising thing for me is "I'm not sure" is not sending me into a frenzy of anxiety.  I sit with my computer on my lap doing exactly what I ask my art students to do -- just get started and see where the activity takes you.

I value learning -- you would hope this is true as I am in a Masters of Education program -- and believe that each new experience is a building block for the person I will become.  So how has the learning in this course been different?

The learning was my own.  I didn't need to take responsibility for it; I was invited to learn and given the responsibility to direct it myself.  This reads as simple comparison, but the two statements are separated by a deep chasm.  If I am directed to take responsibility, then it is a job, a must do, a requirement for course completion.  If I am invited in and given a responsibility it is mine to own and complete.  If I am the director of the learning, it can go where ever I need it to go.

The learning has done just that.  It has been a journey of many side streets, some interesting, some horrifying, some deeply moving, and some needing to be saved for another visit.  At times, it was a visit to a special friend where secrets could be shared, examined, cried over, then laughed about.  At other times, the learning dropped at a movie theatre and forced me to watch myself as a teacher filled with weakness and strengths.  My favourite destination was the haunted house.  There I learned about the strength of fear and adversity, and having survived the terror, I again emerged ready to strike out on the next adventure.

As my metaphor of a journey continues, so too my learning progresses.  I want to be able to wrap it up in a succinct summary statement and to provide a tonne of professional references to back it up, but that doesn't feel right.

Learning to be invitational and holistic in my teaching requires me to become these things in all areas of my life.  Coming into this class about invitational and holistic learning theories, I was expecting to get a list of things to do and be as I went about my daily teaching.  So here is what I truly learned: 

• I will never be finished with my learning, my practice will always be evolving, and I will never be the expert teacher I imagined myself becoming.
• The above statement is not an admission of defeat or failure.  It is a simple truth and one that I am now ready to accept.
• There is no magic panacea or formula to guarantee success.
• I am valuable for the teacher I am now, but I am worth the work needed to become the teacher I envision (even though the vision with change with time).
• I need to return to story and to the love of story telling and story listening.
• If I remain purposeful and intentional as I take invitational and holistic theories into my daily life, they will spread gracefully into my teaching practices and into all of my relationships and dealings with people.
• My mantra since 1993 has been 

"Life is not being; it is a becoming." (anonymous)

and now I add

"Embrace the mistake; Follow it's lead." (me during a class activity -- write a six word memoir)

I finish this summary, by saying that finding my own articles to read and share was the best way to discover the basics of invitational and holistic theories and to explore how they may fit into my own practices.  The blog allowed me to drift through my thinking and learning.  The personal project challenged to me examine my thinking in a different mode and to push through my comfort zone to create the following:

I am tempted to go back through this blog and format with headings, and but in information that requires academic citing,  but I am going to leave it as it stands.  I am leaving it because as it is best reflects how raw and fragile my learning still is.  I am only just beginning to develop my skills and understanding in this area, but the journey and the learning will continue.

Thank you Hilary!

Judy  

Take a Side Street Along the Journey

The greatest treasures can be found there.

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/images/stories/large/
2011/07/21/graffiti1311277644.jpg

Today, I sat through a class of presentations all centred around Invitational and Holistic Learning Theories.  Each one was so uniquely different that, rather than being bored by the rehashing of each theory, I found insights into the people behind the presentations and nuggets of gold to carry with me on my journey.  

                                                                                                                                                              One of the presentations presented the importance of story and the need for teachers and administrators to take the time to learn about a student's story. I drove home reminiscing on a drama class I took 20 years ago.  It was called the art of storytelling.  We learnt about the craft of storytelling and shared personal and creative stories.  I remember commenting about how exhausted I felt after 3 hours of just listening.  It wasn't that the time went slowly; on the contrary the time flew by.  It was the emotional investment of the storytellers and the listeners.  Each story was worth listening to and each listener poured as much of their heart into the listening as the storyteller did into the telling.

I also made a connection to a blog that I came in contact with about a year ago.  I had not thought about it until today, yet when I first encountered it, I was determined to follow it faithfully.  The blog was introduced to me during an innovative assessment course at Brock University.  Professor Susan Drake presented the blog Pair a Dimes by David Truss as quality educational blogging.

Truss writes about the stories of a history professor that touched his learning and his life and describes 6 ingredients that are central to the art of storytelling.  I will quote the 6 ingredients later.  

I would like to offer a connection to the learning journey I am on.  If story is important to connecting with others, and if we all have a story to tell, why do we, as educators, often stifle our story behind, beneath, and within curriculum.  Why can't our (students and teachers) stories be a means to explore and uncover the meanings within the curriculum?  I think that the art of crafting a good story can be applied to the crafting of a culture of invitation and a holistic pedagogy. 

Let us begin with the 6 Key Ingredients to the Art of Storytelling by David Truss.

Purpose or Meaning;  Cantor; Weaving; Relevance; Serendipity; Authenticity

Then, let's take a look at what they mean to storytelling and to Invitational and Holistic learning.

Key Ingredient	Storytelling (quoted from http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/6-key-ingredients-to-the-art-of-storytelling/)	Invitational & Holistic
Purpose Meaning	Be it to share laughter, joy, or to deliver a lesson, the journey needs an ending that satisfies a simple question:  Why was this story told?	Be it to get to know a little more about a student, to share a smile, ease a hurt or teach a lesson, the conversation or question needs as ending that satisfies the simple question:  Why was this story shared?
Cantor	This varies considerably, with some storytellers streaming ideas like periodless poems, while others can captivatingly hold a pause much longer than would normally be comfortable in a conversation.  There isn’t so much a ‘right’ cantor as much as a practised art of delivery.	This varies considerably with each situation and each student as well as with each teacher and purpose.  Silence can be powerful.  There isn’t so much a ‘right’ cantor as much as a practised art of respectful interaction.
Weaving	‘Seamlessly’ connecting what would otherwise be unconnected ideas.  Touching upon subtle points or thoughts that seem unnecessary right up until they are relevant.  Foreshadowing is a well used form of this, but not the only form.  Like a weaver would return to the use of a previous pattern or colour, or in my attempt right now to return to the very metaphor I used to describe this section.	A teachable moment!  It is an art to recognise that moment, embrace it, use it, refer back to it, and yes, weave it into the fabric of relationships, the classroom, the lesson, and even the curriculum.
Relevance	Sometimes ‘the devil is in the details’, and going into minute details or overly descriptive information adds value to the story.  Other times the details are just a distraction.  Does the story need a detailed setting, or can the setting be minimalist?  Also, digression into the side-story is meaningfully weaved into the stitching of the story’s purpose.	Sometimes the details keep us from experiencing the whole canvas, but sometimes they are needed to lay the foundation of the building.  Digression can be the means to unearthing the true motivation, interests, worries, and fears of our students and ourselves.
Serendipity	[H]appenstance connections, chance meetings, accidental or incidental luck.  This can produce the ‘problem’ or the reason for the story, or it can help with the solution.  I read somewhere that in creating a story, it is ok to let chance get the protagonist into trouble, but chance as a way out of trouble is cheating.  That may be true for a murder mystery, or an action film, but I don’t think that applies in telling true stories.	I believe that we need a vision within our teaching and a purposeful implementation of pedagogy towards creating that vision.  But . . . We must also be purposeful in looking for the happenstance along the way:  the unexpected spark of an idea, the joy on a child’s face, the touching of a heart, the standing in the silence of awe, the sharing of ourselves, the teachings from a student must all be looked for and savoured for their spontaneity.
Authenticity	Delivery of a story, (enthusiasm, tone, emphasis, pitch, expression, humour, etc.), can excite an audience or turn an audience off.  I’ve heard incredible stories that lost credibility and authenticity not because of what was said, but rather how it was said.  I’ve also sat riveted to the words of a simple story well told.	We must teach from our hearts, and we must allow our students to learn with theirs.  If we aren’t authentic within out teaching, how can we expected learners to be authentic in their learning?

I leave you with an image of one of the most surprising places I have ever visited.  The side streets not only lead you to interesting doorways with welcoming faces behind, but they can lead you further up the side of the mountain or deeper within the walls of the canyon.  In either direction, each corner unmasks a treasure of sight and sound that you simply want to share.

Ma'allula, Syria

http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/62795087.jpg

What are your stories?  Who have you shared them with lately?  What stories have you heard that have changed you?

I hope you share a few with me.

Judy

What Does It Mean To Be Mindfully Aware?

What Does It Mean To Be Mindfully Aware?

Now that the apologies are made, and I have made an agreement with myself to be forgiving of my mistakes and weaknesses, what comes next?

I need a better understanding of what Kathryn Byrnes (2012) calls mindful awareness.  I first turned towards research papers for connections to education, thinking that I would arrive at an understanding through professional applications.  There was a lot of information, but most of it was given as background to why a particular research focus was chosen.  I quickly realized that I needed a more grassroots approach.  I turned to the internet and a Google search of "mindful awareness".  

I found myself in the realm of on-line magazines and self-help blogs.  There I discovered the following recurring words and phrases:  centered, whole being, meditation, spiritual, Yoga, change, transformation, calming, breathing, and being in the moment. I became a little concerned that this path of inquiry might take me into the realm of Eastern Philosophy and a great deal of reading before I could begin.  

Just as I was becoming frustrated with the amount of material available and the task of weeding through it for a way to begin I found a Website called Mindful: Taking Time for What Matters 

In an article titled 5 Steps to Mindfulness meditation master Thich Nhat Hanh is quoted: “Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in.” The article describes mindfulness as stopping in the present to appreciate what is happening right now.  It encourages the reader to examine the environment, conversation, activity, and relationships that are taking place at the moment.  The article offers the following steps to initiate mindfulness:

1. Mindful Breathing:  As you breathe in  you name the in take of breath as your "in-breath".  As you breathe out you name the exhalation as your "out-breath".  This focuses your mind on the act of breathing and allows it to recognize the importance and reality of simply breathing.
2. Concentration:  As you are mindful of each breath in and out, you focus on the flow of the breath into the lungs and through the body.  As you follow the path of the breath in and out, you are developing concentration that is centered in the moment.
3. Awareness of your body:  In this exercise, as you breathe in you say "I am aware of my body."  As you breathe out, you repeat "I am aware of my body."  The goal behind this exercise is to join the body and the mind in the same moment.  Your focus is on the actions and reactions of the body as each breath is drawn in and exhaled.
4. Releasing Tension:  This exercise begins with recognizing that there is tension in the body and then using the breathing exercises to allow the tension to be released.
5. Walking Meditation:  Like Mindful Breathing, walking meditation connects the mind with the body.  The idea is to become of each step as a miracle and a joy.  Rather than hurry through the walk, focus on each footfall and experience the miracle of your body as each bone, muscle, tendon and nerve work together to make the motion possible.  

These are steps that I have already begun to use.  As I write this post, I am trying to be mindful of my breathing when I stop to think.  The amazing thing?  When I began to write, I was tense and fretting over the amount of work still to do before the course ends.  As I began to breathe and recognize the in and out of each breath, I realized a smile had crept across my face.  You will see by the time of the post that this piece was written after a full day of teaching, an evening of reading and research, but yet, there is a smile on my face, and even at this hour, I am enjoying the process of learning.

As I think about how this can be used practically in my teaching day, I see it as a means to truly connect with my students.  As I rush from room to room (teaching off a cart), I often find myself asking student to wait until next time to share a last bit of information.  I am hoping that by applying mindful breathing, I will slow myself down and give myself, and my students, time to create a moment of peaceful contemplation at the end of each lesson.

I offer the following website as a place to get more information on making mindfulness practical in daily life. The Huffington Post Healthy Living 

Check out the video on the home page.

The following videos give an introduction to mindfulness.  The second video presents the meditation master, Thich Nhat Hanh, speaking on what it is to be mindfully aware.

Apologies

My Apologies

To the Mistakes and Challenges in My Life,

          Please forgive me for my negative attitude and assumption that your very presence in my life is a problem to be overcome.  I know you are often pushed to the back and quarantined in the backrooms of my memories. 

          I have often wondered how you managed to escape those rooms to creep up on me.  You often appear suddenly as I drive home from work, or prepare for a presentation.  Until today, I thought you were there to remind me of how stupid, forgetful, uncaring, and uncoordinated I can be.  How could I have known that your timing was intentional and meant to support me in my future endeavours?

          Your presence in my life has helped to shape me into a strong, independent, problem solver who is still able to recognize when help is needed.  You have taught me how to overcome fear and indecision.  I strive to be better at my profession and to be a better person because of the adversity you put in my way, and the constant sneak attack reminders you send.

          So today, I would like to say thank you.  Thank you for the many different forms you take and the people that carry you into my world.  Thank you for the students, parents, colleagues, family members and friends that present your case and force me to look again at the person I am becoming.  Thank you for the lessons you have taught me and the guidance you continue to offer.  Thank you most of all for your persistence, for it is that, that provides the uncertainty and discomfort that leads to my deepest learning and lasting life changes.

                             Yours now and always

                             Judy

Explanation

I have always thought of myself as a reflective person, but I have often undervalued the challenges, obstacles and difficult situations in my life.  Kathryn Byrnes (2012), in an article entitled A Portrait of Contemplative Teaching:  Embracing Wholeness, introduced me to the idea of contemplation.  She describes contemplative teaching as embracing the reciprocal influence of the outer being on the inner being.  It requires acknowledgement of strengths and weaknesses.  Together a whole being is made.  Within us, there are strengths and weakness, courage and fear, and moments of confusion balanced by moments of clarity.

The apology letter is my first step at acknowledging the weakness within me as valuable to the whole that is Judy.  It is my first step at embracing vulnerability (Brown, 2010) and applying purpose to a personal invitation for change within me.

References

 Brown, B. (2010).  The gifts of Imperfection.  Center City, Minnesota, Hazelden.

  Byrnes, K. (2012).  A portrait of contemplative teaching: embracing wholeness.  Journal of Transformative Education, 10(1), 22-41.  DOI: 10.1177/1541344612456431 http://jtd.sagepub.com